Around two years ago InbrokenOnce confident and wholenA shattered reflection was all I sawnYou are great butnYou are impressive butnYour are so valued butnNever enoughnnThe compliments come butnI don't hear themnI don't feel themnthanks butnnI spent this year gluing things back togethernCelebrating ExcellencenDistractions from my doubtnWe glued the mirror back togethernPiecenbynPiecenThey showed me maybenI wasnalright.nI took a risknTimenThinkingnStressnDecisionsnThis time I didn't breaknCracks are therenmaybenbiggernBut this time I see the way outnThe vase can only fall so many times from the shaky shelf beforenwenfindnannewnshelf

The last few years have been really hard. I love my work and what I do but that little nagging voice, you are not enough, is always there. So I learn and try new things. I look at ways to celebrate my students so that hopefully they don’t feel this. This… never enough.

Lately I have been finding myself stumble upon reading that asks us as teachers to recognize the unique awesome that each of our students possess, their excellence. This last week I had another interview, in it I talked about how important this work is to me. The why has always been the success of my students. Now it is more than that. I don’t just want them to have success, I want them to thrive, to find their excellence and utilize it to lift where and when it is needed.

Two days ago I read a students work and for the first time tears came to my eyes. Their writing was a simple poem. Not the assigned task but one they thought they could be successful at. As I read the student reflected on why they treasure poetry, their struggles with writing, how poems just made sense, let them “be good at something”. I don’t know for a certainty why it hit me so hard. Maybe it was that connection of not ever feeling good at something, or that I recognized that for a moment I had helped, that in that moment the “you are a fraud” voice in my head crept away to the shadows as this students excellence shined bright.

I sat at my desk and wiped away a couple of tears and the student looked back at me and smiled.

The voice is not gone. The “how are you doing?” questions will continue to come and I will continue to say “Oh great” knowing I am not but maybe tomorrow I will be.

One step at a time.